Ladies and Gentlemen
As some of you may have noticed
There is no turning back
We come with a hardened art
Believing you'll love our hearts
To perform the delicate task
Of removing your masks
There is nothing of you that we shall ask
But to let us do this farce
You shall be amused,
For the Edible Toadstool Orchestra is nothing but a joke,
Welcome to this Creepy Cabaret

Creepy Cabaret
Dreadful comedy
Prepare for
Crazy Dizzy Party
Creepy Cabaret
Screwball tragedy
Get ready
Maids & MILFs
Coots & Kids
Hippies & Dandies

Ringed eyes
Deep yawns
This audience
Needs to be woken
We all want to see
The voiceless sing and scream
The armless clap and snap
The footless dance and tap

There is no exit
Almost sorry for this deceit
Cheeky usherette’s
Locked the gates
Any guest turns into hostage
That’s the way of the Creepy Cabaret

Creepy Cabaret
Yodeling monkey
Bearded lady
Stuffy Gypsy Boogie
Creepy Cabaret
German mariachi
Don't forget the Bolchoï company

Blank stares
Glum smiles
No other choice
But to swing and bounce
We all want to see
The voiceless sing and scream
The armless clap and snap
The footless dance and tap

There is no exit from this deceit
As deadly fungus, venomous
Everything can be listened to
Some songs only once

Because that's the true way of the Creepy Cabaret

Fat, like that ! Business tomcat, the rat !
Grosso mineto !
Santiags, Stetson and sparklin' watch ! Check it out !
Big cheese and CEO !

Stressed, night and day ! Check the wheels, oil the gears !
Adios la fiesta !
Rest ? Nevermore ! Do my will ! Stacks of bills !
Adios la siesta !

Roll up your sleeves !
I want more dinero !
Roll up these leaves !
I need more cigaros !

Why should we run the ratrace
If we can't keep up the pace ?
Amigos, let's dance !
If the cat were away
Yeah, we mice could play !
Come on, it's time to hoax !

Pain ! No gain ! Slavin' again ! Supply chain !
Measly mexican mice !
On Wall Street market, catnip trade, speculate !
Labour at lower price !

Forbidden to get tired ! No more whine !
Adios la fiesta !
For dining, you'll get fired ! Overtime !
Adios la siesta !

Roll up your sleeves !
I want more dinero !
Roll up these leaves !
I need more cigaros !

Why should we run the ratrace
If we can't keep up the pace ?
Amigos ! Let's dance !
If the cat were away
Yeah, we mice could play !
Come on, it's time to hoax !

Why should we run the ratrace
If we can't keep up the pace ?
Amigos ! Let's dance !
Now the cat's gone away !
Yeah, the mice can play !
Freedom, folks !

The bootlicker's again snitched on you for biting Burt !
Damn squealer ! Poor you !
The class nerd's even pinched your lover !
Got your pants dropped !
They’ve just crushed your brand new firetruck !
Shoelaces stuck, bad luck !
Oh you feel shamestruck !

Hey guys ! Where are the water bombs ?
Ready !
Who’s checked the fresh-bogey-blowgun ?
Loaded !
And the firecrackers ?
All set !
Now it's time to let massive weapons do the talking !

These playgrounds are bloody battlefields !
Rascals are pitiless ! Pitiless !
Squabbles and bickerings turn the school into Fort Knox !

Plastic toys as big artillery !
Children show no mercy ! No mercy !
Don’t you see the cold war comes to light in the sandbox !

Glue in your books ! No rules !
Yucky worms inside your boots !
Ball on the roof !
An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth !
Tacks on the chair ! Bubblegum in your soft tidy hair !
It's not fair ! They've burnt your sweet teddy bear !

When rings the school bell, sounds the death knell !

Hey guys ! What about the stink bombs?
Ready !
Who’s checked the dog-doodie-launcher ?
Loaded !
And the itching powder ?
All set !
Now it's time to let massive weapons do the talking !

These playgrounds are bloody battlefields !
Rascals are pitiless ! Pitiless !
Squabbles and bickerings turn the school into Fort Knox !

Plastic toys as big artillery !
Children show no mercy ! No mercy !
Don’t you see the cold war comes to light in the sandbox !

Year after year, growing older
More mature, with the urge for peace…

Plastic toys as big artillery !
Children show no mercy ! No mercy !
Don’t you see the cold war comes to light in the sandbox !

These playgrounds are bloody battlefields
Rascals are pitiless ! Pitiless !
Squabbles and bickerings turn the school into Fort Knox !

Winter's call
Begs for wool
One has to brawl
For a brand new wardrobe

Whether pet or stray
All here to stay
On Black Fur'Day !

First comers
Prime shoppers
Limited offers
Eager beavers !

Sales attraction
Tariff reduction
Commotion !

Grating door
Mob ardor
Imminent clutter
The shutters are now lifted
Jungle ramble
Savage struggle !
Buying season is open !

Sprinters making a beeline
Carnivores on the front-line
Beasts of prey going hog-wild
All lobotomized !

What a monkey sees, a monkey does
Getting the lion's share is a wild goose chase

Raging bulls in a China shop
A leopard can't change its spots
Loaded, loaded, loaded for bear

In two shakes of a lamb's tail
Blind as a bat out of hell
Avid, avid for wears
That's Black Fur'Day

What a monkey sees, a monkey does
Getting the lion's share is a wild goose chase

May I have your attention please
Important call, I repeat : important call
Little Rex is waiting for his parents at the main entrance
A little reminder
Prices have slumped for pups
So hurry up !

What a monkey sees
A monkey does
Jungle ramble
Savage struggle

Raging bulls in a China shop
A leopard can't change its spots
Loaded, loaded, loaded for bear

In two shakes of a lamb's tail
Blind as a bat out of hell
Avid, avid for wears
That's Black Fur'Day

What a monkey sees, a monkey does !

Who are you curvy female ?
You make my three hearts fluttering (boom)
Let me court you damsel
I can’t prevent from flattering you
Sole goddess of the ocean
Sensual undulations
Hypnotising swirls
Aphrodisiac pearl

Oh sweeties, come on in, you know I’m a tease
Which of you deserves my octopussy ?
Seduce me, feel me, I love when you say please
Yearning desire, I’ll be your trophy
Fight for me !

Twenty victories, zero defeat
His secret weapon: blackish ink spit
Expert in metamorphosis
Be sure squid he won’t see coming this sucker punch

Baby I want you to be mine
My second name's Cassius
Compatible starfish signs
You’re Pisces, I’m Aquarius
How can you be so sexy ?
Honey you dive me crazy
Fantasising charms
Tantalising hips
Mesmerising arms
Queen of the abyss

Oh sweeties, come on in, you know I’m a tease
Which of you deserves my octopussy ?
Seduce me, feel me, I love when you say please
Yearning desire, I’ll be your trophy
Fight for me !

Special trick: triple uppercut
Last winner of Pacific Rut Cup
You've got the ocean's Chuck Norris
Be sure he won’t see coming this sucker punch

What ? A foam body and a plastic face
We swallowed hook, line and sinker
I told you this profile was fake
No squid dating, dude, let’s go to dinner

Madam !
Please come around
Closer !
Dear Man !
You’ll never find
Greater !

My name is Karvangul
The Mighty and Powerful
Wizard from Istanbul
Wise and cool !

Graduate in sorcery
Master’s degree !
Speciality : Remedy
Pottery came free !

Sick of stomach ache ?
Dragon gall is the solution !
For your dental plaque
Fireball, sure dissolution !

Merlin
Taught me the laws
Long ago
Nothing
Like a demo
Here we go !

Scamum Charlatanum
Disastrous Clumsinus
Boom Doom Devastatum
Hocus Pocus Fidibus !

Sorry…
Wrong recipe !
Reload !

Money
Back guarantee
Lay low !

Flopum Calamitum
Fecklus Plus Portentous
Bogus Copperfieldum
Hocus Pocus !

Missed it again !
Gosh yeah !
What a loser !
Let me explain !
No way !
Let’s take over !

For your varicose vein ?
Twice a day, massaging earthquake !
Bald ? Try acid rain
Radical, immediate effect !

No panic Madam !
Cure for everyone !

Sandman has passed but I can’t close my eyes
Something wicked is here tonight
Switch on the lights !
Needless to call your mummy !

I must be dead, or at least exhausted
I pull the blanket over my head
I’m afraid !
Your cries are silence to me !

I can be any thing
Your mind decides
Oh wait, poor thing
I’m hidden just behind
The cupboard door
Warming up my roar
Claws scratch the floor
That’s what I’m paid for !

Difficult to fall asleep
Disgusting slobber dripping on my little cheeks
It gives me the creeps !
You’ll fill my shaggy belly !

Smoking nostrils
Sniffing close to my ears
They smell the scent of my fear
I’m not your meal !
Your small calves are steak to me !

I appear in silence
Vanish in a glimpse
Leave no evidence
Oh steel yourself !
From the dark I spring
To your couch I slink
You know my skills
Are to give the chills !

Let’s make a break, I’m not fake
I’m only the freak you don’t wanna take…

To bed ! Too bad…
Don’t be… so sad !
I’m so sorry
I’m not scary
Come on, hug me !
Don’t worry, be happy !

To bed ! Too bad…
Don’t be… so sad
No place for bite
You should sleep tight
I can be nice
I’ve even had a wife !

Look little girl ! Just let me give it a whirl !
To show you I’ll mimic your baby doll !
Fluffy bunnies !
Look at them bounce bounce bounce on my knees !
Play with them as you please !
Behold how I am funny !

Hilarious ! Ridiculous !
You make me laugh ! And less nervous !
I’d like to play
With you a game
Are you OK ?
You won’t feel the same !

Pillow attack !
I want to make you spit out !
My sister !
Cause I know you swallowed her !
Pumpkins and corn !
Banana split split split on the floor !
That’s not Janet at all !
Aren’t you really a monster ?

In the dark
Lulled by this endless buzzing
We’re all tight
Like sardines in a tin
Smelly haze
Flavour of rotten waste
Salad days
Had a less bitter taste

It’s so cold
(We’ve) Had enough
Icy walls
(Freeze) Our buns off

Small potatoes or desperate plight ?
Don’t know beans, what is this light ?

Two pounds yellow chicory
Half broccoli
Seven savoury celeries
Don’t hope for the chef's clemency
Your destiny is to spice up this recipe

Sharp cleaver
Chopping board
Big stewpot about to boil
What a dire fate
To perish in a plate

Walter Market Ranger, to serve you
Danger, fat is in the fire
Sixty seasons liberating your sisters
Hard to cut the mustard
No, it’s gonna be duck soup
Don't go nuts, our goose is cooked

Two pounds yellow chicory
Half broccoli
Seven savoury celeries
Don’t hope for the chef's clemency
Your destiny is to spice up this recipe
The best at
Getting out
I’ll upset the apple cart
You won’t baste
Ready to escape ?

Walter Market Ranger, to serve you
Danger, fat is in the fire
My kitchen map tattoo's to be deciphered
Hard to cut the mustard
No, it’s a low-hanging fruit
Don't go nuts, our goose is cooked

Oh no!
Cut me loose, now let me go
Chop Chop
Mash Mash
Wait ! Ow ! Stop peeling my zest
Chop Chop
Mash Mash
Holy chips
What a sad way to die

Rest in pieces
Garden, garden companions
Yeah, real peaches
Goodbye, goodbye sing the crying onions

Goodbye
What a sad way to die

Kick-off
Four-four-two formations
International pride
Figures and possession
Play offside

Early shower
No running water
Carnival of injury
Indecency

Panenka, yellow card
Rocinha, Mastercard
Strategy, scarcity
Do I see the white line?

Bicycle, superstar
Bifuel supercar
Playmaker, paymaster
All I need is a whistle to blow

Grass pitch or green baize?
Beware the dummy move
But there's no more to lose
Or should I join Mexican waves
To know my goal
It’s just to kick in a ball

Play on
Sharp pins of inflation
Box score to maximise
Replay in slow motion
Advertise

TV to buy
No power supply
Samba of hypocrisy

Tyre thongs, favelas
Big Aston, plush villas
Midfielder, misfit toll
Do I see the white line?

Substitutes, beach soccer
Prostitutes, bitch knockers
Champagne cup, cocaine cut
All I need is a whistle to blow

Grass pitch or green baize?
Beware the dummy move
But there's no more to lose
Or should I join Mexican waves
To know my goal
It’s just a kick… if not a tackle

Grass or green baize?
Beware the dummy move
But there's no more to lose
Or should I join Mexican waves
To know my goal
It’s just a kick in my balls

Where are you from, snarky voice in my crooked mind ?
View of the spirit, another kind ?
Your face reflected, your breath I feel down my neck
Move from my shoulder, shadow with no shape

I wonder if you are the ghost of my opera
Phantom in fancy dress
I wonder if I’m on the verge of paranoïa
Falling down into madness

Here’s the opportunity to proudly stand in the limelight
At the very frontseat, I will count on you to unleash the crowd
The chance for the fool to wear the crown

Happy to be called on first night
Hoping I won’t suffer from stagefright
Locked in the backstage of my brain
I’m plotting to play the villain

Who wants free tickets
For my twisted ballet ?
Don’t expect burlesque
Between I and myself
I invite you to guess
Which one's the sickest

Can’t you see I’m hanging by threads
My dark puppeteer pulls the strings
Useless are the pills
Leave me alone please
You hot on my heels
When will this end?

I wonder if I am the ghost of your opera
Phantom in fancy dress
I wonder if I'm on the verge of paranoïa
Falling down into madness

I’ve planned a wonderful program
You’ll be the greatest showman
Just before entering the scene
Drop your antidepressants
Prepare for the best show ever seen
Don’t you hear the claps of the audience ?

There's no need for rehearsal
I know how to embody the role
Counting days for them to be amazed
I can’t wait to write a great new page on stage !

Who wants free tickets
For my twisted ballet ?
For sure no one will forget
Spectators or targets
I invite you to guess
My fame skyrockets